Starting Over: One Person’s Journey, part 2
This is the second post of a series from our newest feature writer at PartTimeMusician.com. The names have been changed to protect the musically-addicted (!), but the content needs nothing else to stand on its own. We’re excited to be able to share this with you and welcome your comments!
That said, I’d ask that any encouragement be offered freely and any criticism be offered with civility. I’ve gotten used to the occasional trip to the woodshed from our few irascible-but-dear friends, but please take it easy on the new folk. We’re all on the same journey, even if we take different paths to get there. 
I always had excellent reading skills, a good feel for the English language. That must help explain why I ended up becoming an editor. Unfortunately, that ease does not extend to the language of music. I am, at this point, musically illiterate.
When I first tried to play the trumpet (20 or so years ago), I never learned how to read music. It was always difficult for me and, truth be told, I didn’t really try. But now, with my long-term goal being a second career in music, it was time to do things right.
This remains a daily struggle. After 10 months I am really happy with my tone, range, endurance, intonation, but I am still falling short in my reading. I simply lack the reading comprehension to keep up. Without that ability, all the rest means so little.
Now, I threw myself into the breach by joining a community band in order to force myself to learn how to read music. But three months in and I am still lagging behind. I am so frustrated.
In fact, I just decided not to perform in the group’s first concert because of my faltering reading skills. While this was the right thing to do for my band mates, it is difficult for me. It’s like everyone is reading and speaking this foreign language fluently and I can only catch every other word or so.
I don’t know how many of you have felt this, but I find myself getting lost early and often during rehearsals. My mind, my eyes, my fingers are all slow to the task. I cannot keep up.
To tell you the truth, this is the biggest roadblock I face right now. And self-doubt begins to creep in. That corrosive feeling sets upon me each time I fall behind during a run through. Can I really do this?
I know the solution – sight reading and dexterity exercises – but I wonder if I am up to the task.
Given that I never really learned how to do things the right way as a kid; I am essentially starting from scratch. That doesn’t breed confidence. Because I never did these things before, I am constantly asking myself, “Will I get this? Will I get any better?” While my teacher assures me that I will, I need to prove it to myself.
So, I make do. I am hunkering down on technical exercises to improve my dexterity and working every day on sight reading so my reading skills improve. That’s what I need to do. I just hope it’s enough.
I knew this would be a long journey and I am ready for that. I apparently have just hit my first fork in the road. I press on, but with concerns.
I’d be really interested in your early experiences with sight reading, musical reading comprehension. What challenges did you face? How did you overcome them? At what point did you realize that you had things right?
Take care,
Starting Over
Please feel free to contact SO by email at startingover@parttimemusician.com or leave feedback below. To subscribe, please click this link. All the best to all!
Mark
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Tags: come-back, comeback, journey, learn, over, pro, professional, reading, sight-reading, sightreading, starting, trumpet, work
Brass, General, Inspiration, Learning | Mark March 27, 2011 | 
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