What a sad commentary on society when it has come to this. Thankfully, this has only been reported within the confines of New York City…but like the alligators in the sewer, how long can we count on it remaining there?!?!!
In the meantime, please try to smile through the fear. After all, we’re all in this together.
Q: What is the latest crime wave in New York City?
A: Drive-by trombone solos.
Just wanted to start the week off on a lighter note. Tomorrow…it’s back to business. In the meantime, keep that music coming!
All the best,
Mark
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I’ll admit I’m not a great fan of bagpipes, although they do seem to sound “just right” on certain pieces, like Amazing Grace when performed at a funeral. I really do choke up when I hear it.
But this isn’t about choking up; this is about humor! So with that in mind, here is the Joke of the Day:
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: To get away from the sound.
Keep playing (unless it’s those pipes), 
Mark
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As a bassist, I find bass jokes particularly funny. That’s because they’re talking about those other bassists, of course. So, in honor of all those other bassists…
Q: What should you do when you come across a drowning bass player?
A: Throw him his amp!
Keep playing (and smiling),
Mark
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For my few remaining trombonist friends (!), please let me apologize in advance…although some of you may want to pass this one along to your section mates. After all, it’s really about them…
Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A: A tattoo.
In case you’re wondering why I’ve left female trombonists out of the picture, it’s because I’m told the converse doesn’t apply to them. Just saying’… :-)
Keep playing,
Mark
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I think everyone who’s done their time gigging can relate to this one…even if a trumpeter takes the fall this time. Enjoy!
The trumpet player was on the phone with his agent, concerned because he hadn’t had a gig in quite awhile. His agent tells him, “Listen, there aren’t any of the usual gigs out there, but I found you something; I got you a gig bagging lions.”
The trumpet player replies, “What does that have to do with my playing?”
The agent then says, “Look, the gig pays $100.00 for each lion that you bag; don’t worry about playing!”
At this point the trumpet player will take nearly anything, so he hangs up and flies to Africa. Not wanting to miss any practice time, he takes his trumpet with him while looking for the lions. When he notices a lion coming toward him, the only thing that he can think of to do is play his horn. He starts to play a beautiful ballad and notices that the lion starts to get sleepy, eventually falling asleep. He grabs the lion, bags him and throws him in the back of his truck.
He goes a little further and sees another lion. Again he plays a beautiful ballad and again the lion falls asleep. This goes on all afternoon. The trumpet player has about 99 lions in his truck when he sees another.
He says “What the heck, one more for an even hundred!” He starts to play his ballad and notices that the lion is not paying any attention to him…so he plays louder. The lion starts to run toward the trumpet player. The trumpet player plays faster and faster but the lion keeps coming toward him. The lion then jumps on the trumpet player and eats him.
One of the lions on the truck turns to another lion and says, “I told you that when he got to the deaf one the gig would be over.”
MORAL OF THE STORY: Know when the gig is over. 
All the best,
Mark
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Joke of the Day | Mark September 7, 2010 | 
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