I’m not sure if this originated with him or not, but the late, great Johnny Carson used to say something that, as a musician, still strikes a funny chord with me…so I thought I’d pass it along to you as well. Enjoy!

“The least spoken phrase in the English language is ‘That’s the banjo player’s Porsche.’”
Johnny Carson, king of late-night comedy
With apologies to Steve Martin and all of the other exceedingly talented banjo players out there who may also own Porsches. :-)
Keep playing,
Mark
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Tags: banjo, Carson, English, Johnny, joke, language, least, player, Porsche, spoken, used
Joke of the Day | Mark December 28, 2010 |
Comments (1)
This little nugget of humor came across my desk the other day and I just knew I had to share it. In one stroke, it manages to pick on both percussionists and conductors; the only thing it’s missing is a good-natured swipe at violists, pipers, or accordionists. :-)
Enjoy!
A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn’t improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, “When a musician just can’t handle his instrument and doesn’t improve when given help, they take away the instrument, give him two sticks, and make him a drummer.” A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: “And if he can’t handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor.”
Keep playing (or conducting!),
Mark
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A fellow orchestra member (oboe/English horn) recently slipped me a joke shared with him by a violist friend and I just had to share it. In my extensive instrument humor research – oh yes, I even (especially?) research the humor – I noted there are two alternatives to the answer provided by the aforementioned violist…so I’ve included those as well. Enjoy!
Q: What are the differences between a violin and a viola?
A1: The viola burns longer.
A2: The viola holds more beer.
A3: You can tune the violin.
I don’t make ‘em up, folks; I just pass ‘em along. :-)
Keep playing (and smiling!),
Mark
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To the banjo-playing PTMs (Part-Time Musicians) among us, I must apologize in advance. The banjo is a fascinating instrument, combining elements of various other stringed instruments (frets, bridge) and percussion as well (head/membrane)…but its uniqueness makes it somewhat of a target. That said, since we (usually) choose which instrument to play…deal with it! ;-)
Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?
A: It saves time in the long run.
Whatever you play, may you do it with relish!
All the best,
Mark
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Time to give the trombonists a break and pick on a woodwind. Hmm…how about those squeaky soprano saxophones? Yes, they’ll do just fine! ;-)

Q: What’s the definition of a minor second interval?
A: Two soprano sax players reading off the same part.
Take heart, soprano saxophonists – someone else will be in the hot seat next week! Until then…
Keep playing,
Mark
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