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The trumpet gig to end all gigs

I think everyone who’s done their time gigging can relate to this one…even if a trumpeter takes the fall this time. Enjoy!

The trumpet player was on the phone with his agent, concerned because he hadn’t had a gig in quite awhile. His agent tells him, “Listen, there aren’t any of the usual gigs out there, but I found you something; I got you a gig bagging lions.”

The trumpet player replies, “What does that have to do with my playing?”

The agent then says, “Look, the gig pays $100.00 for each lion that you bag; don’t worry about playing!”

At this point the trumpet player will take nearly anything, so he hangs up and flies to Africa. Not wanting to miss any practice time, he takes his trumpet with him while looking for the lions. When he notices a lion coming toward him, the only thing that he can think of to do is play his horn. He starts to play a beautiful ballad and notices that the lion starts to get sleepy, eventually falling asleep. He grabs the lion, bags him and throws him in the back of his truck.

He goes a little further and sees another lion. Again he plays a beautiful ballad and again the lion falls asleep. This goes on all afternoon. The trumpet player has about 99 lions in his truck when he sees another.

He says “What the heck, one more for an even hundred!” He starts to play his ballad and notices that the lion is not paying any attention to him…so he plays louder. The lion starts to run toward the trumpet player. The trumpet player plays faster and faster but the lion keeps coming toward him. The lion then jumps on the trumpet player and eats him.

One of the lions on the truck turns to another lion and says, “I told you that when he got to the deaf one the gig would be over.”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Know when the gig is over.

All the best,
Mark

Joke of the Day: Horn players and squirrels

Next up in the humor rotation, we have another friendly jibe at horn players. Hey, anyone who plays an instrument that points backward and requires you stick your hand in the bell to do it has to have a great sense of humor!

Q: What is the difference between a squirrel and a French horn player in the back of a taxi?
A: The squirrel is probably going to a gig!

All the best to everyone (but especially horn players and squirrels),
Mark

Joke of the Day: Trombonists and Accordionists

To my knowledge, we’ve never picked on trombonists or accordionists. Okay, we may have picked on them, but I’m fairly certain we’ve never picked on them together. Let’s fix that, shall we?

A trombone player and an accordion player are playing a New Years’s Eve gig at a local club. The place is packed, and everybody is absolutely loving the music. Shortly after midnight, the club owner comes up to the duo and says, “You guys sound great, and everybody loves you! Are you two free to come back here next New Year’s Eve to play?”

The two musicians look at each other, then back at the club owner, and the trombone player says, “Sure, we’d love to! Is it okay if we leave our stuff here?”

Keep playing,
Mark

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