Feb
8
2010
I think everyone who’s done their time gigging can relate to this one…even if a trumpeter takes the fall this time. Enjoy!
The trumpet player was on the phone with his agent, concerned because he hadn’t had a gig in quite awhile. His agent tells him, “Listen, there aren’t any of the usual gigs out there, but I found you something; I got you a gig bagging lions.”
The trumpet player replies, “What does that have to do with my playing?”
The agent then says, “Look, the gig pays $100.00 for each lion that you bag; don’t worry about playing!”
At this point the trumpet player will take nearly anything, so he hangs up and flies to Africa. Not wanting to miss any practice time, he takes his trumpet with him while looking for the lions. When he notices a lion coming toward him, the only thing that he can think of to do is play his horn. He starts to play a beautiful ballad and notices that the lion starts to get sleepy, eventually falling asleep. He grabs the lion, bags him and throws him in the back of his truck.
He goes a little further and sees another lion. Again he plays a beautiful ballad and again the lion falls asleep. This goes on all afternoon. The trumpet player has about 99 lions in his truck when he sees another.
He says “What the heck, one more for an even hundred!” He starts to play his ballad and notices that the lion is not paying any attention to him…so he plays louder. The lion starts to run toward the trumpet player. The trumpet player plays faster and faster but the lion keeps coming toward him. The lion then jumps on the trumpet player and eats him.
One of the lions on the truck turns to another lion and says, “I told you that when he got to the deaf one the gig would be over.”
MORAL OF THE STORY: Know when the gig is over. 
All the best,
Mark
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Feb
2
2010
We’re now well into 2010, and it’s time for a quick look at last month’s topics and a note of heartfelt appreciation. Thanks to everyone who is a part of the PartTimeMusician.com family – writers, readers, commenters, well-wishers, subscribers, and all who have contributed in any way – for all you do to make this site the information hub for your playing addiction.
Below are some of the “blue ribbon” articles from January that you may want to revisit:
January 5: Three tips for setting – and reaching – your goals
January 8: Music publishing for the masses? About Sibelius First
January 11: Keeping it fresh: learning a new instrument
January 13: Music matters
January 14: Fun with music: a classic(al) cinema moment!
January 19: PTMs in the news: “passion players” in the UK
January 21: From virtual musician to real musician
January 25: Build Your Own Soundproof Studio
January 27: Citation/ticket for bass players
And the usual (well-deserved!) plug for your PTM advertisers: if you’re in the market for something, please check with them first. They’re good folks…and their prices, service, and quality are tough to beat. Check out their ads in the right column, and please give them the chance to earn your business. By doing so, you’ll be giving back a bit to the PTM community without paying a single dime more! And please don’t forget about the PTM Guide; we guarantee it will save you money, and all updates are free…forever!
All the best to you all, and thank you for another great month!
Keep playing,
Mark
Related Articles:
Feb
1
2010
While life has always been hectic (!), the last month brought with it an epiphany of sorts: we just can’t “do it all” ourselves and do everything we want to do for the PartTimeMusician.com community. So…who wants to join in the fun?
If you’ve ever considered sharing some of your PTM musical knowledge or insights, why don’t you give it a try? We welcome article submissions, as a one-time thing or on a regular basis. We would also consider a “staff writer” if you’re so inclined. The pay is the same we get, which is to say the satisfaction of contributing to the PTM community as a whole; nothing monetary, but it’s always good to do right by others. 
The “rules” are simple: short or long articles (or multi-part, if they’re really long) are fine, and most topics are welcome – the primary criterion is that they benefit those of us who work a day job to support our playing addiction. We also believe in sharing knowledge in a way that anyone, anywhere can read an article here – regardless of who may be looking over their shoulder – without embarrassment. Let’s keep it clean so all can benefit.
That’s the offer; who will step up for the prize? 
Drop us a line and let us know! In the meantime, keep playing…
All the best,
Mark
Related Articles:
Jan
27
2010
As a bassist, this one was just too good to pass up. Feel free to share with your bass-playing friends, as all bassists (by nature) have great senses of humor. We have to; we hang with drummers. 
All the best,
Mark
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES
NAME OF OFFENDER – ___________________________
INFRACTION DATE – _____________________________
MUSICAL OFFENSES FINE
[ ]Playing loudly during warm up $10
[ ]Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[ ]Loud cursing after mistake $10
[ ]Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[ ]Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[ ]Asking for “E” tuning note $25
[ ]Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[ ]Playing written-out walking line $50
[ ]Failure to play written walking line $75
[ ]Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ]Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[ ]Playing eighth notes $5 each
[ ]Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[ ]Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[ ]Dragging fast tempo $75
[ ]Dragging ballad tempo $100
[ ]Blacking out during ballad $200
[ ]Ignoring drummer’s tempo $100
[ ]Following drummer’s tempo $250
[ ]Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000
UPRIGHT PLAYERS
[ ]Showing up before first downbeat $25
[ ]Playing audibly $25
[ ]Faking changes $25
[ ]Slapping $150
[ ]Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
[ ]Excessive sweating $25
[ ]Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
[ ]Asking leader for a solo $30
[ ]Accepting solo when offered $50
[ ]Taking second chorus $100
[ ]Playing solo arco $400
[ ]Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
[ ]Playing “A Train” ending on every tune $200
[ ]Playing extended “A Train” ending on every tune $500
ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[ ]Checking hair between tunes $15
[ ]Experimenting with odd meters $25
[ ]Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[ ]Playing with a pick $50
[ ]Tuning during ballad $30
[ ]Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ]Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[ ]Attempting last word on final chord $50
[ ]Achieving last word on final chord $100
[ ]Long gliss down to final note $200
EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS – ELECTRIC
[ ]Forgetting strap $10
[ ]Changing strings after every set $15
[ ]Using electric tuner $15
[ ]Setting up mic “just in case” $75
[ ]Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[ ]Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[ ]Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ]Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[ ]Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ]Skull decals on bass $150
[ ]Bringing fretless bass $500
CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ]Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[ ]Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[ ]Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ]Quoting “Birdland” $25
[ ]Practicing scales during break $25
[ ]Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[ ]Practicing $150
[ ]Beginning a sentence with “When I was a guitar player…” $50
[ ]Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are “into sequencing” $10
BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ]Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ]Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ]Asking when the rock set starts $20
[ ]Continually asking “where are we?” $25
[ ]Continually shouting “Yeah!” $25
[ ]Asking bone player where “1″ is $50
[ ]Taking cellphone call during 4’s $100
~BASS PLAYER OFFENSES~NAME OF OFFENDER – ___________________________
INFRACTION DATE – _____________________________
INFRACTION DATE – _____________________________
MUSICAL OFFENSES FINE
[ ]Playing loudly during warm up $10
[ ]Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[ ]Loud cursing after mistake $10
[ ]Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[ ]Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[ ]Asking for “E” tuning note $25
[ ]Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[ ]Playing written-out walking line $50
[ ]Failure to play written walking line $75
[ ]Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ]Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[ ]Playing eighth notes $5 each
[ ]Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[ ]Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[ ]Dragging fast tempo $75
[ ]Dragging ballad tempo $100
[ ]Blacking out during ballad $200
[ ]Ignoring drummer’s tempo $100
[ ]Following drummer’s tempo $250
[ ]Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000
UPRIGHT PLAYERS
[ ]Showing up before first downbeat $25
[ ]Playing audibly $25
[ ]Faking changes $25
[ ]Slapping $150
[ ]Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
[ ]Excessive sweating $25
[ ]Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
[ ]Asking leader for a solo $30
[ ]Accepting solo when offered $50
[ ]Taking second chorus $100
[ ]Playing solo arco $400
[ ]Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
[ ]Playing “A Train” ending on every tune $200
[ ]Playing extended “A Train” ending on every tune $500
ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[ ]Checking hair between tunes $15
[ ]Experimenting with odd meters $25
[ ]Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[ ]Playing with a pick $50
[ ]Tuning during ballad $30
[ ]Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ]Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[ ]Attempting last word on final chord $50
[ ]Achieving last word on final chord $100
[ ]Long gliss down to final note $200
EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS – ELECTRIC
[ ]Forgetting strap $10
[ ]Changing strings after every set $15
[ ]Using electric tuner $15
[ ]Setting up mic “just in case” $75
[ ]Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[ ]Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[ ]Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ]Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[ ]Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ]Skull decals on bass $150
[ ]Bringing fretless bass $500
CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ]Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[ ]Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[ ]Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ]Quoting “Birdland” $25
[ ]Practicing scales during break $25
[ ]Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[ ]Practicing $150
[ ]Beginning a sentence with “When I was a guitar player…” $50
[ ]Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are “into sequencing” $10
BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ]Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ]Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ]Asking when the rock set starts $20
[ ]Continually asking “where are we?” $25
[ ]Continually shouting “Yeah!” $25
[ ]Asking bone player where “1″ is $50
[ ]Taking cellphone call during 4’s $100
Related Articles:
Jan
25
2010
Have you ever dreamed of having your own soundproof studio? Are you willing to invest a little time and effort to make it happen? Here’s how.
This excellent article from our friends at Instructables lays out the details. Included are recommendations, explanations, and even some diagrams to clearly convey what the author means to say. With any project like this, it’s important to have enough details to do it right, without so many you get lost in the preparation. Two thumbs up on this one.
I’ll admit I’m intrigued and sorely tempted. We have a small outbuilding that I’ve long considered converting, in whole or part, to a practice room. I’m bookmarking this article so I can come back to it when time and weather permit starting a new project. Maybe, just maybe…
Have you done this? If so, what are your thoughts? Any “gotchas” are good to know before they surface, so post a comment or drop us a line!
All the best,
Mark
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